I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
