The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
