and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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