Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
