rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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