ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he thought i was a dude.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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