I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think your dad took our porno
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
