from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
