mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
third nipple confirmed
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
