I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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