And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
