i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize