Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
