writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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