I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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