You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
