He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
