I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
