I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
