Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
