Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
