I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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