You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
