Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
