he wants to bone in the snuggie
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
