marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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