i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
