She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
