let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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