All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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