I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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