im gay
i know
yea but for you.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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