it hurts more in the daytime
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
