this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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