haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
