Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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