need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
