U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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