I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
