i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
