all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize