Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
