Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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