no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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