they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
