Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize