I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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