he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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