I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I want is dick and wine.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
