Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
