Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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