he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
