You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
