So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We talked him into tasing himself.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
