My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i will never coherently bang her
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
