YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
