i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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