in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
