She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
